Who wears a buttonhole?

First things first - a caveat - Rules are changing at weddings, you can sack off all of the traditions and not have any buttonholes if you want to. Just make sure you're clear with your bridal party about who you have and haven't bought items for so that you swerve any awkwardness on the wedding morning.

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The Groom(s)

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I believe a buttonhole has transformative powers, it turns a suit into a wedding suit. Suit, morning suit, kilt... all are transformed, by the addition of buttonhole, from an outfit into a wedding outfit.

The buttonhole will usually be worn on the left lapel of the suit jacket. I've seen grooms have their 'this is happening' moment when they pin on their buttonhole and look into the mirror, all dressed, ready to head to the aisle.

The Groom's buttonhole is usually more elevated than the rest of the buttonholes. It can be done in a few different ways, larger, finished with different ribbon, more ingredients, or simply the only one with a white main flower.

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Bestmen / Bestwoman / Bestpeople

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I've made this plural because more and more i'm seeing couples having than one best-person. A buttonhole signifies that they are an important part of the wedding party, 99.999% of the time these guys get a buttonhole.

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Groomsmen and ushers

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It's typical for groomsmen and ushers to wear buttonholes. It's a lovely way to elevate them into the wedding party. These buttonholes are usually the simplest design overall. Sometimes as far as just a rose and a touch of greenery.

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Dads / Uncles /Brothers /Stepdads /Grandads / Sons .... you get the gist.

This is where budgets can easily get out of hand. These buttonholes are usually similar in design to the groomsmen and ushers

General rule of thumb is, if they have an important job to do they will likely wear a buttonhole. Also in the interest of family politics, it's good to go either all in or all out.

So (assuming they are not bestman or a groomsman) if they are walking down the aisle, joining you on the top table, are giving a speech at the reception, have been asked to be a witness etc...they would typically wear a buttonhole. It is a judgement call, agree between you and try to stick to it. Bear in mind if you're literally leaving one person off the list such as a brother who isn't a groomsman then maybe he would be offered a buttonhole so he doesn't feel pushed out.

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Mums / Aunties / Sisters / Stepmums / Godmothers / Grandmas / Daughters / Stepdaughters .... seeing a theme?

Often called pinned corsages or ladies' buttonholes, they are slightly more intricate or feminine than the buttonholes created for the rest of the bridal party but 99% of the time will be worn on the left lapel like the buttonholes.

I'd take a similar approach to these as with the buttonholes for the Dads etc etc... They're completely optional but typically couples will provide them for Mums, Stepmums, Grandmas - unless they're already a bridesmaid or a flowergirl - if you'd like them to feel included in the bridal party a corsage is a great way to go.

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Note on corsages... They can also be worn on the wrist like a prom corsage. It's up to you if you'd like uniformity or to offer a choice to those wearing a corsage.

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Everyone??!

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It WAS traditional to provide a buttonhole for every wedding guest but this is almost always abandoned these days and guests no longer expect it.